My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,
As I'm sure you're already aware, I've been a very good girl this year. So! Allow me to cut to the chase and give you my list of wishes...all of which I know you're just dying to fulfill for me.1. World Peace. (I feel obligated to start with this, because, well, it just seems like the right thing to do. It's what Brangelina would ask for, I bet.)2. A dirt devil broom. I know, how lazy am I…it just would be nice because maybe the husband would want to sweep once and awhile too…dontcha think?

3. Perfume. So I can shower less.

4. A freezer so we can buy lots and lots of meat!! (NEVERMIND! Mom got this one for me already. Thanx anyway!)

5. A Cherry Pitter—I know, not a necessity, but I can’t even tell you how afraid I am to eat Big Cherries, (and I LOVE THEM) because I’m afraid I’ll choke on a pit. Thanks Santa! 6. A body like hers, except less pregnant. Not that she is showing yet, but uh, you know what I mean.

6. A body like Jessica Alba, except less pregnant. Not that she is showing yet, but uh, you know what I mean.

7. And since you're hopefully bringing me a new body, could you also bring some new clothes? Otherwise, I'd be nekkid and while I'm sure everyone would want to see that - with my new Jessica Alba body and all - it's winter, and I would be cold.8. The metabolism of a hummingbird would be cool too. Ya know, to keep my new body looking like it should and still be able to eat my weight in cookies whenever I feel like it. I bet Jessica Alba has NEVER eaten her weight in cookies and really? What kind of life is that? A sad one, that's what.I think that's enough.

If you can give me even HALF of these things, I'll be forever grateful. Next year, feel free to just give me a winning lottery ticket or something small like that.

Thanks,
Love,
Sara