Dude! Santa wrote me back!
Check it out:
Dear Sara,
I am not a genie in a bottle, nor am I God. I cannot create miracles. I'm merely a jolly old man in a red suit. I suggest you go to the gym more often and leave the cookies for me. As for the more practical items on your list (all two of them), I'll work on it. But you need to learn to at least ACT surprised and pleased with gifts that you do not like from your family. If you don't, then it's lumps of coal next year and I'll give the winning lottery ticket to that girl from kindergarten that stole your boyfriend.
And don't scoff. It's not very pretty of you. You could also learn to cut back on the cursing and ease up on your backseat driving.
Santa
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